...your old brooms are up on blocks in your front yard.
...you wear combat boots with yer robes.
....you keep a bottle opener tied to your athame belt.
...you keep your grimoire and tools in a portable beer cooler.
...your coven theme song is "Crazy" by Patsy Cline.
...when you close the circle you say, "Blessed Be, y'all."
...your coven road trip includes getting some graveyard dust from Graceland.
...you think the X-Files is a book about sex magic.
...you think the Salem Witch Hunt was an anti-smoking campaign.
...your coven considers the Great Rite a "Dukes of Hazard" re-run marathon.
... you think the witch on the cover of "To Ride a Silver Broomstick" is Daisy Duke.
...your coven channels Minnie Pearl during lunar eclipses.
...when calling the watchtowers each corner starts with "Howdy, c'mon down!"
...instead of using a bell and dorje to balance chakhras you use a manure shovel and a cowbell.
...when a spell recipe calls for eye of newt, you sneak to the cabin down yonder at night and swipe Uncle Newt's glass eye.
...when all the members of your coven have one set of teeth between them.
...when the statue on your altar representing Herne the Hunter is a Garth Brooks action figure.
...when you put a hex on your strayin' man you sing:
...your familiar is named Bubba.
"Where, oh where, are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over and thought I found true love,
You met another and (phhhhht) you were gone." from Hee Haw.